yeah , i already convinced to all my friends that i dont like you even love you . so , now i need to convince myself . but its hard , you know . after all this happen . i feel like i'm the stupid person in the world . why am i suffer , struggle , frust , heart break about him . he cant do anything and this is such an embrassing feeling ever ... i keep saying that i am stupid . stupid ! and stupid ! i dont why i am so effing stupid. HAHAHA . WHY HIM ? why not anyone else . and why im so kind on him ? why i cant treat him like other guys ? arghhhh ! why im sooo stupid to fall in love with him la weeeeeeeeeei ... why i met him ? why ?why ? why ? you know what . if i had chance to make one difference . i'd choose him . i want him to not exist in my life . ever ... but what am i gonna do ? all is a fairytale . and fairytale is totally not exist in a real life . i hope that if i stop loved him , i dont want him to love me back . that is absolutely ridicilous . and yeaaah would nt be happen .. im sure . LOL

sigh . i just cant stop thinking about him . he's really nice to me :D BUT he's TAKEN . yes . absolutely .. and i knew that girl. we used to be close .. why he told me like a week before im falling in love with him ? and he just couple with that girl like almost a week also ! why ?!?!?! why am i so stupid ! why im stupid to fall in love with him ! why im stupid to let my heart stole by him ! i just want it back ! but i just cant ! i dont want to say that im perasan . but the way he looked at me is different . not the way faid looked at me or shazreen or who ever they are .. and i just cant look into his eyes . and i think he noticed that . i dont want him to know that im falling in love with him . noooo waaaay ! absolutely not ! i dont think it is a good idea.. i just hate it when someone knew im into them .. he's taken . and you know what ? he's smoker ! if you really know me well. i am absolutely dont like when a guy smoke . but i dont know eventhough he is a smoker . i still like him . is this my fault or his fault ? i just dont know ! im confusing . when i wanted to forget about him . i just cant ! seriously cannot ! i dont know why ! why am i keep saying this . i am in dilemma .. i feel sucks to fall in love with him ! espeacially my best friend in primary school's boyfriend .. damn it man . suck it ! arrrrrrgghhhhhhh .. why love is soo confusing ? why love is hardly to understand ? why love is sucks ? why ? and why ? i act so weirdly .. ask my friends . they know me . they can see my change . and they understand me . thank youuu . and i love you guys :)