What had happened between him and his friends . Now he decided to work at Arab restaurant which very funny ! but well he ask my permission first whether he can work or not . And of course I would say yes because that's his choice . so yeah . He wants to make a new life :) im really proud of him . Sometimes he acts like liitle kid but sometimes he do act like gentlemen . So now he just heal from his sick . but he only got a minor fever . Awww . i love you kiddo !! but he still want to meet me today :) and we didnt talk that much becase he wants to play cricket with his friends .. and he said to me his 1st salary he will shopping with me at Pasar Seni again ! watfak ? =.= hahahaha apa class pasar seni !! PAVILLION LA BROOO :p

YESTERDAY i went to Pasar seni with my husband :p hahaha because he wants to buy new clothes and shoes and some coat. Seriously , I never been there at all . so i took this opportunity and see what is pasar seni is about . oh wait actuallyI've been there when i teman zayn go to his embancy . so yeah :) But seriously , Pasar seni is fucking amazing :) ahhaa you know why ? Let me tell you . Can u imagine converse shoes only cost bout rm10 . I know it doesn't have any brand name but still it really nice and great ! And Zayn bought 3 shoes :) hahaha and 4 shirts and 1 pant . We are laughing like hell because actually Zayn want to but only 1 pair of shoes 1 coat .. but then HAHAHAHA and I also say to him when I shopping with Aishah at times square also did a same thing to me . And then we went back to sunway around 7pm like that . Then we chilling out in front the kopie satu . when im online suddenly this guy well, he is just my friend and Zayn's enemy . Well, not really enemy but its more into frienemy . So he just chat with me say hi hi then suddenly he asked where is Waqas and I said yeah he with me then he said oh he is my best friend and also he is a nice boy . Suddenly, I show that IM to Zayn then suddenly Zayn type LATER WE WILL SEE AND FUCK U REALLY . then I was like what the hell are u doing ?!?!?! then he suddenly angry oh yeah before that one person name Adnan called him . I don't know what he wants from Zayn but they are speaking in Urdu . so I don't really understand . so suddenly Zayn throw his phone on the floor !! yes he did ! and I was really shocked . If u know me , im type of person who cannot hear something that loud that can me shocked because my chest will extremely pain . When its pain, i will cry . So when he threw his phone . i said to him why u throw your phone . Suddenly , his friend Taj coming then Zayn speak urdu and he looks really angry and Taj just calm . Then , zany just go at internet cafe where his frienemy is . Then I know they will fight . but I don't know then suddenly all the pakistan people like gathering i don't know about what but i think about Zayn . Then , suddenly Zayn came then he said to me im sorry im busy just now . So I didn't talk to him . Then , he just pretend smiling and said funny things to me but i still ignore him because that time im really angry with him because I said to him what happen ? then he just simply said NOTHING . Yeah , how i feel man !?!?! Then he get up then suddenly i don't where he go . And I really fed up I just inside kopie sauté and sit with Amy . When I asked Taj what happen ?? then Taj also said i don't know . Sometimes he acts like little boy u know ? sometimes he cannot control is anger . So , suddenly his frienemy's friend online , Tanveer , he said to me what happen ? I said what ? i don't what is going on ? can u tell me please ? then he said no vicky and rizwan fight . only fight talk . vicky said to rizwan why u chat with kaka ? why u said i am ur best friend ? why? then i said but why ? C'mon la he dent do anything wrong okay ?!?! then suddenly Zayn came and said to me what wrong with u blablablablablaaaa then i said I cannot talk with u im angry with u so can u go now ? then he said no cannot i want to stay here with u please ? im sorry …. so suddenly I don't know why im crying . im crying in front of him and Amy .. so I just asked him to leave and just go back home . So he just go . Then i also go home .. Then when im at home . im super upset dude . thank god i have my brother Amy . we just play some games and do some stupid things and he make me smile again . then suddenly I think about Zayn . why he didn't call me ? Then I just realized I didn't bring my phone along with me . So when I go my room . I see 5 missed call from him . So when I call him , he off his phone . I try and try and try until i got him . So when we talked on the phone he is crying and also me . So i said to him why u didn't go ur home? he said its raining so i cant go home . So i said to him i pick u up. but he said its okay im fine . That is sooo bullshit . suddenly , my mum ask me to buy something at my way so this is my chance. So yes did pick him up and send him home . When I already arrived at rizwan condo then I said to him okay u may leave now . Then he said are u angry with me ? I said no , im not . Suddenly , he open the topic he tell everything why he is soooo angry then he said this is not rizwan fault . this is Adnan . then he tell me everything . he said everyone cheated him . when he did a nice thing to other person why other person didn't appreciate what he have done ? when his friends need money , he will give and never expect him to pay him back unless they have money to pay . he said why people backstabbed him ? He miss his all pakistani real friend . all of them call him everyday and care about him . why his pakistani guy in malaysia not like them . so he really stressed ! and crying . im also crying . and yeah when he fight talk with rizwan suddenly police came and asked why are u fighting then the police just slap Zayn face and kick Zayn's legs and punch his face ! when I heard that OMG , im soooooo crying . I just don't understand what the fuck is the police man problem ? why he just suddenly touch someone ? can u just use ur mind and settle this down without touching people . You know what ? that is why I hate police !! i just hate police because it has relationship with my family . because of police my family almost break up .. because of police !!!!! im really crying together with Zayn . Then he told me everyone said that why he couple with me because Zayn just want my money because im a rich girl . Eyh , come on laaa !! you don't know Zayn . you don't know his family . but then u just simply say like that . oh i hate people who judge the book by its cover .. memamng pukimak kot . let me tell u something . Zayn is actually quite a rich boy . his father is a successful business man in Lahore . His mum didn't work at all . And how come zayn come to Malaysia without money . Plus , he also study here and also didn't work at all in malaysia . So how he can get the money ? by his parents right ? So , he already rich so why he wants my money ? eh please i don't have money . my father have a lot of money if he wants money then he can just go straight flirt with my father laaaa . and also he said all people jealous with him . I don't know laaa ! im feel like he is the one for me . he is my mr right . he said to me all people said why u choose a fat girl ? u just want her money right ? u doesn't love her . I know … then zany just shut his mouth . he don't want make any trouble . so Zayn said to me you think money is love ? but its not for me . I hate money . because of money all people are fighting . I love you because when I see you on the first time . My heart said you are the one for me . and I also don't know you are a daughter of bidara until i know u better . i love you because you accept me as your boyfriend and also your partner of your life . Im very thankful to have you . I love you because i never cheat on you . If i did i will do long time ago already . I love you because you are really sweet and nice girl . you always be with me whenever im happy sad or angry . you are the one who makes me to stay alive . for example like now , you drop me . why ? because u care about me . u want me to safe be at home . and thats why I love you more and more . My love to you never be less . Im really touched when he said me like that . He is crying when he said me .. I said to him why are u crying in front of me ? and he said because I know you always be with me until my last breath and thats why im not shamed to cry in front of you because i know you are the girl that im looking for of my life …… im very lucky to have him and im not wrong . We cry for an hour . then I decide to go back home . and he also already calm . and both of us go our own home .

Today i think im very happy . and also first day of my fasting replacement . and our 6 weeks and the date is 20.11.2011 ! NICE :) I don't know why im very calm today . Oh yeah yesterday im really angry with zayn right ? Then in the morning he called me 15 times . Hahaha and then i think he gave up and i just gave ??? to him and around 15mins like that he called me and I pon jual la mahal hahaa and he keeps say sorry and aku pon apa lag termakan la kata2 dia . hahaha :) So , at night im working at byway and guess what ? he accompany me until 4am . Awwww :') All his friends already go back home . but he doesn't want to . He wants to be with me :') and we talk about our future . Bahahaha . And he said he never leave me . I am his 1st real love . If he leaves me then he said he will take a knife and kill himself . and I said no way ! and he said he will never leave me if he wants to go pakistan he will ask my permission . And he face really serious . I never see his face like that . and then he wants to marry me next year . And I was like gila apa ?! too early and too young and he just simply said so what ? Did Islam said we cannot marriage in early age ? But Islam said you must marriage early so that both of us can be legally in relationship and also be husband and wife and we can do anything we want . :) So awwwww . but the thing is you need have a fix job . and i also want to finish my study first . and he said if u want to study okay its fine . I wont disturb you . but i really really want to marry with you . and u know what ? Im just speechless ! i don't know what kind of words to make him understand that marriage is not easy as he thought . but he is right too . I do want an illegal relationship :) But for me its really funny marriage in early age because I still remember when me and my friends hang out and pointed to each other who is going to marrried first … HAHAHAHA . So while he company me in my way came one chinese guy . he said aiyooooo take habis2 dating ka ? and I said haha mestilah ! then he said to zany eyh , you tak kerja ka ? you tunggu girlfriend you ka ? soo sweet .! eyh Ini boyfriend kamu ka ? he asked me . and I said no laa he is my uncle ?! and he said waaaah , your uncle banyak handsome ! romantic lagi ! ahahah then he keep ask zany you take kerja ka ? then i said eyh , dia take boleh cakap bahasa Melayu laa . and he said oh really ? then he asked was where do from la where do u study laa apa laa. and he asked me so u also foreigner ? then I said to him mana ada laa im local ! Saya boleh cakap bahasa malaysia okay ! then he said foreigner also can speak malay what ? but u really look like foreigner u got mix ke ? and i said yeah i got mix mat salleh . ada mcm mat salleh tak ? then he laughed and said yeaah ada sikit laaa .. hidung you ada sikit .. And i was like kepala hotak kau ! hahaha and all of us laughed :) and that is the funniest moment of the day . ahahaha :) and oh yeah u know what ? when zayn come to my way , he suddenly gave me a white and red roses . and I was like what is this ?! and he said this is for you jan :) Im sorry :) i love you :) and I said Awwwwwwwww :') hahahaaaaa he reallly sweet ! ILOVEYOUMUHMMADWAQAS :)

I don't know what happened to him today because he seems really pelik . Eventhough he doesn't show it but i know. Just know when he went back his home he doesn't come to my way and tell me that he's going to go back like always but today after he already on the bridge then he called me said that he's going back . And I asked him why u didn't come to my way and meet me ? then suddenly he said I absolutely do really love u so much with all my heart shafiqah. And i said to him I asked u why u didn't answer my question . then he said I don't know yar I feel weird and awkward whenever I come to sunway after what happened to us right ? And I was like what ? but why ? why don't u just act normal ? Nothing is awkward . and then I can hear he is crying in a silent way . I know him . I know him very well .I know when he cried . because I already saw him cried twice . But seriously dude I hate him when he did this to me . He went back home just like that ? without say anything to me ? And he knew where I am . when he called me I just cut his phone because I know he is crying . I cant see him cry because of me . because what is happened between us . I just cant . and then when he sms me . He just cant stop say sorry to me . Like seriously , when Im angry with someone please don't say sorry on the spot because I wont accept your apologize . So when I said to him well maybe u tired now i think u should sleep . and u know what he replied to Thanks for understand me . I want sleep now bye take care love u jan . and i was like what the hell ?!?! and i just send message bye . and he didn't reply me . how dare is he ? Im soo gonna mad at him . i don't know and i don't care . he needs to do something so that I not angry with him . Maybe you think this is just a small matter but for me you just go without say anything to me ? oh man u messed up with a wrong person .

Things getting harder :( I dont know why but we do did promise with each other that we will never leave each other if we did .. He will never come back to Malaysia and I will cut my long hair into short . the reason is he loves my hair . He likes to play my hair . He always smell my hair . and he doesnt like I tied my hair . I dont know why . My parent macam dont want to accept him because they are fucking RACIST ! You think all pakistan people are bad ?! Please dont judge book by its cover . You dont know him but then u suddenly judge him ? yeaah that is my parents . I jst cant understand . he is a muslim and i am a muslim . why its hard for them to accept him ? I am a human . but if they expect me to marry a malay guy . Oh c'mon ! you tell me which malay guys would love me as much as he ? No body . Tell me which malay guys who will accept who I am ? No body . Tell me which malay guys who will call/sms me in fucking early morning just to say I miss you ? No body . Tell me which malay guys would do a video only for us ? No body . Tell me which malay guys would call me 5 mins later if I didnt reply his message ? No body . Tell me which malay guys who always call me and the first word he say is Assalamualaikum ? No body . Tell me which malay guys who will call me mangkuk eventhough he doesnt know the meaning is ? No body . Now you tell me which guy in the world would die to do all of these things for me ? HIM .

I dont know why some people like to let me and zayn fight and misunderstood . I dont know why that guy hates us to be together . I know he has a history with zayn .. ex friend , ex roommate . but now he tring to destroy my life and said bad things about zayn ! at first I dont know if i must believe that guy or not because he looks so honest but dont judge the book by the cover . because i know he and zayn is not really good friend . He said that i dont know anything about zayn . so i asked me to tell me what things that i dont know about zayn . then he said u know mirror ? u can see urself when u look at mirror right ? what if u turn the mirror and u cant see ur self andu didnt see anything right ?so that what zayn is like. u dont inside of zayn . he is really bad guy . and i was like What ? why are u say so ? and he said See ? do u know he has a lot of girlfriends ? and u just ask him about maria .. she is his girlfriend before .. and i was like oh god ! whats wrong with this guy ! Maria is his ex gf ? so what ? there is nothing to do with me . past is past okay ? and then he said zayn just want my money . HELLO TO THE TELUR LAA !!!! if he wanted my money why he keeps treat me and then if he came to bidara and hang out with me . why he still pay the bills . Please laaa . dont talk cock with me okay ! and then he asked to tell my friend and flirt with him . BHAHAHAHAHAH FOR WHAT BITCH ? plus he also didnt flirt with my girl friends .. and last thing he said please dont tell about this to zayn . hellfuckingyeaah ! of course i did ! then zayn was laughing like hell and said to me do u believe him ? and i said i dont know ! and he laughed again . and said to me but why ? i think he made a good story of mine ! and laughed =.= but i know that is not true . but sometimes i feel doubt . i just dont know why . but seriously i do believe you zayn . If you lied to me ! oh man . im gonna kick ur dick ans smashed ! seriously .

Well, yeaah yesterday I introduced him to my parents ! I just cant believe it . HAHA but it seems that my parents okay with him .. I think they love him haha because he has an aura yg boleh get slong with people .. Im so thankful to Allah because my parents can accept him :) But today suddenly , my mother said to me If you want friend with pakistan its fine for me but if u more than that im scared that he will do anything to you .. and iwas like what ? anything like what ? and my mum said you know if u married with foreigner it really difficult . their culture totally different from us . LIKE DUH OBVIOUSLY LA !! eventhough they are muslim but they way he teach islam is different ! WHAT ? I THOUGHT ISLAM IS ALL THE SAME ! Then my mum cerita la dia punya pengalaman .. ntah pah pe ntah =.= dia ckp la org pakistan nie ganas laa suka dera org laa kurung la apa laaa . Well, you know my mum right ? she main cakap je apa yg dia nak .. sesuka hati dia je without prove and without know that people very well. So i pon mcm diam je laa malas nk argue with my own mum . Well, first this is my life . Why u nak mengada2 ck buruk about other people . Benci la aku org yg berfikiran negative nie .. belum apa2 dah ckp bukan2 . Secondly , I know what is right and wrong . Im 18 . I know which people that going to be part of my life okay ?

Well, you know that he is foreigner .. and it is hard for my family i guess to accept him and it's hard for his family to accept me .. i dont know .. we have been for 1 month now .. I know its quite a short time but I feel like we have been together for many years and years .. But today he fights woth his mum because his mum told him to come back to pakistan and go to arab saudi and study there .. but he doesnt want to .. he said he doesnt like his country . which very funnny and he dont ready yet to go back to his country .. And his mum really angry with him and thats why .. I feel pity for his mum but if i asked him to go then how about our realtionship ? nooo .. I cant live without him . he is the nicest guy i have ever met . Like seriously . because when we fight , and both of us was like super ego gila and none of us would like to make a first move to start the conversation .. and yes he did ! he always and always :)

I dont know whats wrong with me .. I jus cant live without my true friends . Its hard for me to comfort with my college because I am person who dont easily friend with people who i just met I need to know them very well then I will decide whether they can be my friends or not . There is a girl in my class . I dont want to mention her name but she always get high marks for the subject . But when it comes into group project . She is really not giving commitment at all . she never giving a good idea . I want to tell her but I tak sampai hati because she is really nice girl. But she is really smart girl . I just dont know how she can get high marks for every subject . Plus , It reallt hard for me to go to college .. If I want to .. I need to get up early and take bus 1 1/2 or 2 hours before the class start which is really annoying but I cant complaint because that is my choice . Im the one who decided to go to the college. I feel really sad and alone because im always get the lowest marks among my friends because i think they are too smart to beat it . It doesnt mean my marks is too low but i want high marks like them . I dont know how they can hang out and get high marks ! this is so bullshit =.=